your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Randomize
