I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
