No stitches, just platelets and will power
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
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