omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
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