i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
