Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
