I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
bring money and cleavage
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
