So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
