he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
