Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
