she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
