Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
