that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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