How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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