I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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