I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
