mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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