We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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