yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
