i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Shame is for Republicans.
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