Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
