let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
