Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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