could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
