i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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