So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
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You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
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She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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