The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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