Betty ford says i'm here all night
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
