Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
