My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
he fucked my hip out of place.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
