her vagina looked like bernie madoff
now i know why i became what i already was.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
