Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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