New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
