everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
