Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
