True but thats because hes a fetus.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize