On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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