Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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