Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
OPIZZABONMYDICK
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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