Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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