i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
It's never too late to be topless.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
