The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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