i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
