let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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