OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
