You're my little dorito
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
