I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
