do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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