I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
