do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
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