I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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