The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
