I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
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Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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