She said her name was "party"
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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