so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
tell me about the fingering
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