yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
