so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
