I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize