she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
did i walk over a car last night?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Randomize
