We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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