Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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