I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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