he wants to bone in the snuggie
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
please come you make the beer taste better
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
