he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
